Day 26 & 27
November 29 & 30, 2018
Issels Clinic Treatment Days
The days seem to be blending together. The evenings are very relaxed in our little Casita together yet we’re not really as together as we would like to be. Glen’s bowels are having minimal improvement and it goes up and down.
This whole journey is not an easy one. Glen has started on the non-toxic pharmaceutical and the low dose chemotherapy. He said he actually felt slightly better but he is also so fatigued from the treatments all day and the regular bathroom visits that are literally “pooping him out” – pun intended. Glen having a terminal diagnosis scares me yet I am determined to stay firmly entrenched in “Camp Hope” – trusting God in all things and thankful for each and every positive step that moves us forward. We will do blood tests again next Tuesday, as next Wednesday is Glen’s last treatment day here at Issels. Dr. Kim wants to see those cancer markers come down as well, which gives me some comfort. We all want to see Glen live and live well so it is nice that so many are praying and rooting for us, including the doctors.
When Glen got this second diagnosis and we discovered just how very bad it was we spent a lot of time on our knees. This is not something that we blame God for. God does not inflict something evil upon His children, His bride. God allows things to happen to allow for our growth. There are many times when things don’t turn out as we would like it to. The Bible says that God works “all things” out to His glory for them who love Him. We love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, strength, and as long as our bodies last, these temples will be the “place” from which we serve our Lord while here on earth. We know that one day we will get new bodies – new places for our souls and our spirits to find their eternal dwelling place. We are just asking for Glen a “not yet” prayer. I believe I heard God say that this is a big mountain to get over. We are to live as if we are on the other side of this mountain in victory because the victory is already won. We know that we are still getting over the mountain in our earthly “real time” situation, which is our “present day”. We also know that God views time different than we do. We know that God has this. This mountain is HUGE. God is BIGGER. We choose to trust “bigger”. We choose to trust God completely. No matter how tired we are of this relentless journey we will trust the Lord and serve Him with our whole hearts.
Thursday evening Glen was mostly in the bathroom. It sounds strange but we are hoping that his bowels getting worse is actually the cancer disease causing it because when Glen beats that then the hope is that the bowels will also become better. After his last surgery when the doctor got rid of the ileostomy bag life has never been the same. We are praying for not just healing of the cancer, but also healing of and re-growing of a rectum. Jesus raised people from the dead. Jesus healed the blind, made the lame to walk, the deaf to hear. I have read about people re-growing nerves and other body parts because of God’s miraculous healing power. God wants us to heal. God wants us to grow. We just keep asking for the “more” of that healing from a God who loves us.
Thursday was quite stormy outside. When I was about to move my car so that I would not get a parking ticket it was gale force winds and rain. I decided to take my chances with the parking. Today is windy but sunny again. The beach today was a different scene than when I went before the storm. The waves were coming in very large and the surfers were in their glory. The water was up very high because of the large waves and the tide. The beautiful sand was washed and eroded by the beating of the thunderous waves. The waves erosion had left three to five foot drops in the sand when before it was a nice gentle slope down to the beach. In the farther part of the beach that used to be sand it’s now a beautiful mixture of sand and exposed rock jutting out from the sand in intricate and jagged formations. The beauty of nature at it’s very finest is awesome and amazing! God is at work everywhere I look. There is nowhere that is untouched by God. The pettiness of humankind is pure silliness in the light of the big God that we serve. We are humbled and in awe.
Today, Friday, Glen received the dendritic injection again that I was supposed to do. Again, I am SO thankful to the angel nurse who got the permission to give Glen the injection. It was quite an involved process and the last thing I would want to do is mess that up! That also means we don’t have to stress about finding dry ice which wouldn’t be enough to keep it frozen on our journey home because it will be a two day journey. We are both sighing in relief that it’s done even though we know that it may give Glen a bit of a fever tonight…as long as he sleeps…
We are also pretty ready to go home. We love it here, but here is not home. We have two wonderful sons at home whom we miss. We (more accurately I but Glen likes him too) have a horse at home that I miss. I drove past a saddle shop yesterday while out running errands and buying groceries. While driving back again I had to stop and walk in. The wonderful smell of leather made me miss the barn and I literally stood there inhaling for a minute before walking fully in. The barn is a place of safety and peace for me. We are so thankful that we came and got the help we needed. Now it is the weekend and I am praying that we both sleep tonight. We are both exhausted and both need the healing power of regenerative sleep that evades us many nights. Though this has been a difficult week in many ways with the bowel battle, we are also counting a multitude of blessings. The inflammation is down. We are here getting Glen the treatment he needs and we couldn’t have done all of this in Canada. We are alive and we are in love. We have a wonderful support group back at home and now also all over the States with the people we have met and the doctors in Tijuana. We have so much to be thankful for!
‘Thank you Lord! Please cover us with Your hedge of thorns and wall of fire as we rest in your perfect peace being filled with Your love and Your resurrection healing power. As we say daily, By Your stripes we are healed.” Amen.