December 2, 2018
Rest Day, Santa Barbara
I took a muscle relaxant again last night so finally – I slept through most of Glen getting up and down. He said he slept really well last night too in spite of getting up around seven times. The nights are consistent with Glen’s bowels being nightmarish yet we are very thankful that he is able to fall asleep quickly virtually every time he has to do the up and down thing. Glen was still sleeping when I woke up at 7am and ducked back under the covers to warm up and shade my eyes from the sun. Glen was still sleeping when I awoke again at 8am. This time I lay as still as possible so that he could sleep longer. I gently rolled over to grab my laser and began aiming the chiropractic strength laser at my head, then neck for the next hour. It really helps my pain levels as it works a few centimeters down to relax the soft tissue. Finally at 9am Glen woke up and headed for the bathroom – which meant I had to wait for the bathroom! Oops!
Glen was again exhausted but slightly less exhausted than yesterday so after a lazy morning I made us some plain and simple turkey gluten free wraps (mine a little less simple with added lettuce, mayo and Dijon mustard – sorry honey!) and we headed for the beach. I headed down to the beach while Glen went to the public bathroom. I finished my wrap and was about to go for a walk having given up on Glen joining me when I saw him slowly making his way down the steeper pathway to the beach. My heart lit up when I saw him coming! I knew he wouldn’t be able to walk with me today but if he can sit in the sand with his bare feet and soak up some 17 degree weather sunshine I was sure it would bring some semblance of healing to his body and perhaps his soul too. Glen gave me a kiss and sent me on my way for a walk in my bare feet again while he settled into the sand.
As I walked I began to warm up a little. I was one of the few wearing shorts on the beach but as it was the surfers’ area there were quite a few of them in their wet suits enjoying the waves. To my great delight I saw dolphins swimming across the shoreline again! This time there were at least three sets of two to three dolphins swimming side by side in perfect synchronism in and out of the water with a grace unequaled. I was again mesmerized and watched as long as I could see them before walking along the beach again. Today I walked further deciding to dip my feet up to my knees if need be to get around some rather large jagged rocks jutting out of the sand and water. I walked carefully here because I could see that at certain spots I would land hard in deep holes of water and crash my foot and leg against a sharp boulder so wanted to avoid a broken foot or leg for sure!
I love the ocean. It is mesmerizing and puts my soul at peace even though it is thunderous with the constant waves and surf coming in and out. The wind whipped my hair around as it blew directly into my face. I chanced taking my hat off to feel the wind whip through my hair more thoroughly and feel the hand of God kiss my face with His strong wind. I prayed as I walked. I listened to my Father God, as it’s been heart breaking to see Glen so sick and tired. We know if it weren’t for those nasty improperly working bowels Glen would feel better but so far that healing isn’t seeming to go anywhere – at least not that we can see yet. There is so much that we don’t see that goes on in the spiritual realm. It is that unseen battle and unlocking of those healing doors that we are literally counting on to save Glen’s life.
“Next year will be different,” I hear. “Hang on child. Trust Me.”
How many times have I heard my Father God tell me to trust Him? A lot. I do trust Him and He knows that His heart is safe with me. I appreciate the reminders to consciously trust Him with all things. My mind wanders as I see birds, dogs chasing balls their owners are throwing for them (not a lot of people here but enough to keep my squirrely brain occupied!). I see large birds in a tree and try to take a picture. As I’m walking through the water I see ocean life attached to the rocks and try to take a picture. I keep listening to the sounds of nature, of the ocean and of my Father God. He’s whispering how much He loves Glen and me. He’s speaking almost in a voice I can’t understand yet I do understand it – it’s like a massage for my mind, my soul, my inner sanctuary is being buffered for whatever is to come next. I know there is more coming for this world that isn’t going to be pretty. Just like the storm changed the landscape here on this beach, more storms will come that will continue to change our landscape in the world that we know. I know that God is preparing us. I am thankful that I am His child and on the winning side. I know that He is coming soon. How soon only God knows but I am choosing to live ready. When He comes He will make all things new again…I can’t even imagine what that will be like! The world is already so beautiful and yet this is just a shadow of things to come. The words of the song, “I can only imagine…what it will be like…” come to mind. What is to come will be beyond our imaginations capabilities and I have a pretty good imagination!
I arrive back to find a very relaxed Glen sitting in the sand listening to music. Chris Tomlin is playing “How Great is Our God” in his ears so he graciously puts one of his ear buds in my ear to listen and praise Jesus together.
The afternoon involved Glen crashing between bed and bathroom, yet I am so thankful for the little bit of time together on the beach! At this point I will take what I get even though I am missing more cuddles because it is uncomfortable and verging on painful for Glen – I am thankful he is here and for every kiss, cuddle, hug and touch I get. I love him so much and really can’t imagine life without him.
I settled outside for a bit to try to finish up an online counselling course on “Somatic Experiencing”. It was an hour and a half of video, then a test. Two more videos to go. It’s ok but it is not what God has taught me in Levelling Prayer Technique, which is so powerful in setting people free from trauma big and small. God is so amazing! But, I have to do “Continuing Education Credits” every year so I have to put in the time and find things to glean and learn each time.
Supper was fish, potatoes and zucchini again…And again, it tasted fantastic. There is nothing like fresh! We spent the evening the same – writing, sports on TV and then found Captain America on TV to watch together. We are grateful and we again claim healing for Glen is Jesus’ Great Name.